Listen Carefully to the Readings this Weekend

              I know that many people read this note while waiting for mass to start (but never during the Homily!).  If this is you please try to listen carefully to the second reading today.  Many times we may forget about this reading in that it may seem not to be connected to the first reading and the Gospel.  The second reading starts with the hope St. Paul has for all his readers for peace and a life free of worries.  What is the secret that he gives for a peaceful worry free life?  Stay single!!  To quote St. Paul, “… but the married man is busy with pleasing his wife.”  To quote one woman who stopped into the office.  When I read her that passage, with more than a little cynicism in her voice, “Oh, yeah that would be nice!!” 

Just last week when I was getting my hair cut, there was a new woman working at my regular barbershop.  She was amazed when she found out that I was a priest.  I was surprised to find out that there was anyone over 20 years old that did not know that Roman Catholic priests are celibate.  She could not believe that I could not get married.  I knew she did not understand the church when she said, “Well, can you at least have a girlfriend?”  I smiled and said, “No, not even a girlfriend.”

              It is always the start of an interesting conversation when someone starts asking me about being celibate and living the life of a priest.  Most people (not all, unfortunately) are polite as they ask question after question.  Many people, even Catholics are surprised when they learn that I might have had girlfriends and long term relationships in the past.  Most of the time the conversation and questions end with some kind of statement that the person does not understand or does not agree with the rule of celibacy.  Then they ask me if I agree with the rule.  I understand and agree with the wisdom for this practice.  I know that this is a good thing and should be defended and maintained.  I think these words of St. Paul have some truth even today.  I know that I am much freer to focus on God and the workings of this parish family because I do not have a family of my own to worry about.  When I get called out in the middle of the night, I never have to worry if my children will be safe while I am gone. 

              I also know that I may not understand the feelings of a parent in even the smallest way but in my own way I know the connection of parents to their children.  In my own small way I smile with pride as the members of the parish family grow and have successes.  Even in the short time that I have been here I feel a sense of being connected to the young people of the parish as they have gone off to college.  Like you, I smile when they return at Christmas and tell stories of their new and exciting experiences.  I look on with awe as the children from our parish school graduate and move to the high school and already have successes to be proud of, even though I am not a parent I feel good for those successes.  Parents of smaller children that bring them forward at the time of Communion know that I say a small prayer over each of them.  In a similar way the children at St. Ann that come forward for Children’s Liturgy of the Word receive a similar prayer.  It is a simple prayer but lacks nothing in its conviction as I ask God to bless the children and keep them safe.  I pray for these most precious children often.  I cringe when I see children go by on their bicycles without a helmet on their head.  I feel real sorrow when I hear about one of the Altar Servers that is home sick in bed.  This is similar to my love for my own nieces and nephews.  Though not in my own family and certainly not my own children, what I feel is not exactly the same as their parents but it is a powerful feeling none the less.

              I am always fascinated by the people that tell me that I know nothing about being married because I have never been married.  I smile when people tell me that I can not tell them anything about their relationships because I have never been married myself.  I smile because most people think that being in a relationship makes them an expert when the opposite is probably more true.  I think I have a better view than most because I am on the outside looking in.  My vision may be clearer because it is not clouded by my own difficulties within a relationship.  I always smile because I deal with hundreds of couples every year.  Only a true marriage counselor deals with more couples coming into and getting out of marriage than a priest.  I may not speak from my own experiences but I can sure tell you what I see from being involved with hundreds of couples.  I was reading in National Geographic Magazine this week, they have a great article about love.  They were looking at love, romance, and relationships all over the world.  From the passions and romance of Italy and Brazil to the arraigned weddings of India and the east; what they found was fascinating.  As one heading within the article reads: “All over the world scientific studies have confirmed one thing, Passion never lasts…” 

              I may not be an expert, I may not have a wife of my own to teach me about relationships but I know one thing they are not easy and only with work and commitment can any relationship hope to succeed and flourish.  I also know that God’s grace is there to share in the blessings when things are going great and to be there with wisdom when things are difficult.  I think couples can forget that God cares about their relationship within their family, not just on the wedding day but day in and day out God wants to help when things get off track.  There are many stressors in the world.  There are many areas of our lives that push and pull us away from who and what we want to be.  I know that dealing with each other one on one can be hard enough but add children into the mix and it becomes more difficult.  The child that you love with your whole heart and soul can also be the biggest challenge when fatigue at the end of a long week makes it hard to listen to crying and fighting.  How to care for each other while caring for children can be difficult.  Everyday parents make life changing decisions for their children. 

Praying for safety it not wasted on our children today.  Which doctor is best? Who can they play with, which friends are OK?  Are they eating right?  What are they watching on TV, on the internet?  All these things can leave a parent laying awake at night thinking, “What do I do?”  Of all the choices a parent makes everyday, educating their child has to be in the top two or three for importance.  Are they getting the best education that we can afford?  Are they doing the best that they can?  This Sunday we begin our annual Catholic Schools Week.  Sunday we start a whole week of celebrating the gift that we have as a parish of our own parish Catholic School.  I could fill up twenty articles with all the many good things that are happening at St. Ann, our Parish School.  I will only take the time now to encourage everyone to go sometime this week and see what is happening in our school.  Following the 10:30 mass on Sunday everyone is invited over the school for an open house.  Stop over on your way to your car.  Take five minutes and see what is going on over there.  Of all the programs we have in our parish, the school is the largest and yet most people know nothing about it. 

I would not try to tell parents that they must send their children to our Parish School.  That would be presumptuous in the extreme.  I would not try to tell parents that the best thing for their child is to send them to our St. Ann School.  No one can make that decision for a parent.  I will offer only this thought; if you do not know what is happening at our school how can you really know if this would be a good place for your child?  Even if you looked into the school a few years ago everyone will see so many improvements.  All over the school you will see new programs and better facilities.  Please take a moment to go and visit our school this week.  All week long there are special events and activities, please take a moment and visit St. Ann School and see all the good that is happening there.  Most people do not take the advice of St. Paul and stay single so that they can be “busy with the Lord’s affairs.”  That is as God wants it.  Most are called to get married and raise families.  What ever life God is calling you to; know that His grace is there to help you in your journey of faith.